(With customary solemnity by the Captain & Mrs. Captain Mullis)
The call went forth from mountain-top
To take the mighty pen
And wield against the sadditudes
To make them laugh again
The answer came from far and wide
Across this terra firma
"We come! We come! With flashing gags!
The Army of the Erma!"
And so they came, from every land
The innocent and racy,
To answer Zombie Nature's call
Obeying General Stacey
With limericks and doggerel,
With punchlines and with giggles.
In bold italic Arial
And small handwritten squiggles.
She sent them out against the Dour
To fill the world with laughter
And out they went good willingly
Although they didn't hafter.
With jokes and japes and cheesy puns
While much of it was family-style
Some was blushed with lewd.
So every year on August ninth
Our wine in sippy cup
We raise a toast to General Stace
And put our bottoms up!