Why is it fashion dictates that women flaunt bare legs in
the no-hosiery era just when shoes with heels the size of bridge supports come into style? Sure the style looks great on Hollywood
chicks whose color pallets range from Tan to Taupe and who spend their days in
spinning classes to tone their legs like the primary dancers in the Bolshoi
ballet.
I live in an area where the main form of recreation is
frying chicken. When the temperature drops below 60 degrees we slide under a
cotton comforter and don’t show our knees until three months past Groundhog
day. You put legs that have been
marinating in hot chocolate and cinnamon buns for three months in a pair of
four inch fake Pradas a slide a sparkle spangle minidress on and what you come
up with is not a vision of loveliness.
It’s more like a hallucination from medication withdrawal.
It used to be that girls were taught how to walk in high
heels so the effect would be pleasing to the eye, like a finely tuned Ferrari
on a straight stretch of highway. Girls
today clump along like a hillbilly jalopy in the Christmas parade. I keep expecting one to backfire.
The movement against wearing hosiery is so strong that the
new Duchess of Cambridge has taken sharp criticism for wearing stockings in the
presence of the Queen. But do we really
want to expose a 90 year old monarch to a style that might send her trotting
off on a royal play date with the Sultan of Sand Country wearing a coat dress
and legs that look like patent leather?
The resulting war could set back World Peace for another two
centuries.
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