I never thought this could happen to me. I’ve read about it and heard stories, but it was something that always happened to somebody else.
I paid off my car! From one shiny bumper to the other. Actually it's been a long time since they were shiny. If Carolina Red Mud is a color in the big box of 64, that's what color my bumpers are.
But they're MY bumpers. Because I paid off my car!
At least, I thought I paid off my car. I went to the website and authorized the amount listed in the PAYOFF block. Then I did a little Payoff Dance and ate some chocolate.
Then I fantasized about what I would spend all the extra money on. Perhaps we’d have meat for supper. Does meat come in any style other than hamburger?
I might splurge on light bulbs for all the lamps that need something bigger than 40 Watts. Or maybe I would pay my car insurance on time.
I marked the date on my calendar, so that I would always know when to celebrate. I paid my car off!
And got a bill the next month that said I was late on my car payment.
It turns out the PAYOFF block lies. That’s the block that tells how much to pay before the second hand on the INTEREST DUE clock ticks forward another percentage point.
The Solemn and Greedy Car Payment People said I needed to may THIS amount. And they put that amount in a box marked PAYMENT DUE.
But I already did my Payoff Dance, so this made me sad.
So I don’t care if the Car Payment People come carry off the car to their Evil Car Payment Laboratory.
They should get it today. It’s 92 degrees and the air conditioner just broke.