Occasionally one of the guys will accidentally wear
something that matches. If I’m very
careful and don’t mention it out loud, there’s a chance they will wear it out
in public, and people will think I’ve had a positive influence.
The guys in my house don’t do their colors. They go by seasonal camo. The proper camouflage for summer in the South is red mud, which coordinates well with catsup.
I grew up in a house full of girls. Coordinating clothes were not on the list of
the Seven Deadly Sins. That list was
reserved for lipstick that didn’t match your nail polish, and bra straps that
showed. These days nail polish matches
your favorite food, and bras are worn like overcoats. Any day now, I expect
Playtex to come out with a waterproof, hooded model with zip out lining. Or a Totes model that opens with the touch of
a button.
Fashion is easier for guys.
The only clothes-related conversations I’m allowed to have with my sons
are
1) Smell this.
2) Is this a color or meatloaf?
I understand now why Duck Dynasty is such a hit. In a world where Heidi Klum and Giselle
Bundchen make a million dollars for one romp down the runway, my household follows
Uncle Si for fashion. The only accessory
they need is a Tupperware glass of iced tea. And since today’s Southern women collect Tupperware the way our ancestors hoarded
the family silver, and if it lasted long enough to pump before Bubba cleaned
out the supply, our hose pipes would run sweet tea, we could rule the lower Mason-Dixon Line Fashion Week.
Wonder
if Calvin Klein comes in camo?
8 comments:
Ha! Brilliant, as always. I love the two conversation lines. I think I've said those myself. I'm guilty of wearing patterned clothes to buffets so no new food stains show up. ;)
I grew up with three sisters, no brothers and now have two sons and a husband who is quite proud they like the Blue Collar Comedy Tour guys and can repeat lines from Animal House. So I can relate. Your blog, as always, has me laughing!
I grew up with three sisters, no brothers and now have two sons and a husband who is quite proud they like the Blue Collar Comedy Tour guys and can repeat lines from Animal House. So I can relate. Your blog, as always, has me laughing!
Oops...I like repeating myself. :D
Beth, I tell everyone my Tshirts are SUPPOSED to be polka dotted!
Stormie - around here I have to repeat myself a zillion times before anybody hears me. :)
We just call it the "Graham Family Curse." Bryan and all of the girls have been touched with the stain stick at some point. Sometimes with extreme prejudice.
I'm VERY late to the party. Story of my life. ;)
And...my fashion sense is probably on par with your menfolk's, so I should just stop here. But I can't resist telling you that, just last evening, I wore a blue plaid baseball cap, black t-shirt, pink sweatpants, and separated-toe shoes to the grocery store.
*waits for the fashion police to show up*
This is hilarious! Oh to be a guy...
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