Many Happy Returns

For Lisa who is competent enough to do taxes, from Amy who can’t figure out her own phone number without a graphing calculator.



“What are you doing?”

“Our taxes. I thought I’d give you a break this year and do them myself.”

“You know you’re not allowed to touch official forms.”

The Captain has been a little skeptical of my ability to fill out forms ever since I took our oldest child to school and registered myself for first grade.

“But these explain everything.”

“Did you read the directions?

“Not exactly. I’ll figure it out as I go along.”

“Like you did with the garden last year?”

“Good grief, I thought those were the kind of tomatoes you’re supposed to grow upside down. Haven’t you seen the commercials?”

“Yep. I've also seen the ones for amazing weight loss and englarged. . .”

“Very funny. But it turns out I’m racking up quite a bit in deductibles.”

“You mean deductions. Deductibles are the things that makes us pay to go to the doctor. They replaced co-pay. Sort of like getting rid of the cat to bring in a cat that costs six times as much to feed.”

“Well, I should have a nice little nest egg to cover that. Kitty litter counts as a deduction, right?”

Judging by his expression, I think I'm going to have to start from scratch.