Click any letter for a look at my prize-winning essay from the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition. You don't even have to buy a vowel.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Chocolate Chips and Coffee Drips

I never warmed up to coffee. In my family, that’s like saying I’m iffy on newborn kittens or lukewarm on inheriting large amounts of money from distant relatives. When I was a kid, I loved the smell that wafted from my Daddy’s cracked stoneware mug and wrapped around me like an aromatic hug on cold mornings. I would put my little hands around the sides of the cup to warm my fingers. But I’d sooner drink kitty litter laced pine sap.

When I grew up I married Bill. That man goes through coffee like Rosie goes through Republicans. He would be perfectly comfortable installing a coffee-lick in the kitchen. So, with a sense of maturity and in the spirit of togetherness and shared experiences, I agreed to share a coffee moment with him. He poured a gallon of black, noxious liquid into his cup. I put a drop of coffee in mine. And added sugar. I kept adding sugar until the mixture in the cup reached the consistency of, say, low tide in your average quicksand bog. I braved a taste. Equally as appealing.

“It’s an acquired taste,” he said, licking a coffee dribble from the side of his mug.

“I’ve acquired things before,” I answered, wedging a spoon into my cup. “Cast off clothes from older sisters, stray dogs from the neighbors, expensive jewelry from. . .never mind that one. But I haven’t yet acquired a taste for bitter liquids that require a possum’s weight in sugar to make them fit for consumption.”

We shared a moment of silence.

“Starbucks?” he asked.

“Sure! Can I have a cookie?”

Coffee may be for grown-ups, but chocolate chips are forever.


Carolyn Erickson said...

Amy I love coffee black, but it's even better while reading one of your essays!

Where in the world did you get so much talent, girl? "like Rosie goes through Republicans" "low tide in your average quicksand bog" LMAO! If I keep quoting the parts I loved, I will have repeated the whole post.

So, anyway. See ya on the bestseller racks. I promise I will won't be more than just mildly jealous. :)


Nita said...

Amy, Carolyn's right you are too funny. Like you I grew up in a family of coffee drinkers, married into a family of coffee drinkers, but can't stand the stuff. Love the smell of it, can't stand the taste of it. Glad you started a blog, I'll be adding it to my regulars I read.

stacey said...

Coffee liiiiiiiiiiiiick! ROFL!

You say that like it's a bad thing?

VirtualWordsmith said...

Have you tried Earl Grey Tea? I love the stuff with honey and a splash of whole milk. :D