Click any letter for a look at my prize-winning essay from the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition. You don't even have to buy a vowel.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The Battle Hymn of the Ermas

An Army of Ermas: Making you spew coffee on your monitor since 2009 2010 what seems like a long time ago. The Ermas salute Stacey Graham, Friend, Founder, and Fearsome Leader.

The Battle Hymn of the Ermas

(Who let the doggerel out?!)

(With customary solemnity by the Captain & Mrs. Captain Mullis)

The call went forth from mountain-top
To take the mighty pen
And wield against the sadditudes
To make them laugh again

The answer came from far and wide
Across this terra firma
"We come! We come! With flashing gags!
The Army of the Erma!"

And so they came, from every land
The innocent and racy,
To answer Zombie Nature's call
Obeying General Stacey

With limericks and doggerel,
With punchlines and with giggles.
In bold italic Arial
And small handwritten squiggles.

She sent them out against the Dour
To fill the world with laughter
And out they went good willingly
Although they didn't hafter.

With jokes and japes and cheesy puns
Hilarity ensued
While much of it was family-style
Some was blushed with lewd.

So every year on August ninth
Our wine in sippy cup
We raise a toast to General Stace
And put our bottoms up!


Melanie Hooyenga said...

You, m'lady, are mighty funny!

weeghosties said...

Wheeee! I love the word doggerel. Just seems so naughty.

Thank you (and KODB) for being a huge part of Ermas!!

Anonymous said...

Love it! (puts her bottom up)

Adam said...

You're so awesome, Amy (and Mr. Amy). :D


PS - Word Verification was "commi". What're you tryin' ta say??

Patti Wigington said...

I love that you rhymed Erma with "terra firma." This is faboo.

Unknown said...

Fantastic post, you always hit it out of the park! Wonderful! Beautiful! Now enough celebrating, get back to work on that book! ;)

Amy Mullis said...

You guys are terrific! I'm still reading everybody's posts. I love it when a plan comes together!

colbymarshall said...

Hahaha. Like!