There are times in everyone’s life when they need a
psychic.
Okay, maybe it’s just me and it’s not need in the same way that you need
to have a drippy chocolate doughnut or someone’s going to lose an arm, but
you’d really like to know how events around the corner are going to play out,
and could sure use the wisdom of someone who can peek into the future and tell
you if leggings will go out of style before you lose 50 pounds.
Or if the shoes that are the perfect match for that “I Got a
Promotion and You Didn’t” day are going to go on sale before platform pumps
become passé.
Life challenges are just part of the fun with Heidi Clements
in her hilarious book, Welcome to Heidi, when she takes us
along on her long-term relationship with Letty, the psychic. At thirty-seven bucks a pop, that’s a
relationship even I could afford.
Heidi also checks out her life prospects with Tomo, a Trance
Channeler. With all the indecisiveness spread around these days, it’s helpful
to know someone who can tell when me when the control-bot I’m dating will try
to accessorize my outfit with a gun to my head or that my dream date was once
my brother.
At times like that, hitting the yellow pages for someone
like Tomo makes perfect sense. That’s better than confiding in my Aunt Edna who
tells me, “Marry a picky eater. You’ll never have to cook.”
Turns out Letty the Psychic hits the bullseye on all the
major topics: Happiness, Money, and Mean
People.
Want to put that old flame who broke your heart in his place?
Bam! Need to press the mute button on your neighbor who put the the “psych” in
“psycho” and who takes out her hostilities on your dog who’s a buddy, not a biter? Heel, please. Or else!
Need Letty’s help with a career change? Heidi’s got the right idea. “If a chicken has to die in order for me to
get the job of a lifetime or the man of my future, then so be it.”
A breast and a thigh is a small price to pay for peace of
mind.
I once had a drunken neighbor who used to sleep in the
driveway and kept a goat chained to his heat pump so he wouldn’t have to mow
the lawn.
Wonder if I can get Letty’s number.
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