Full Count

By the end of spring training I could tell that the Yankees weren’t going to be sitting on top of the scoreboard come World Series time. By the end of February, I had personally intercepted their signals for bunt, steal, and get the heck out of Dodge.

The way I see it, the past months have been a kind of spring training season for the Presidential elections, with teams scrimmaging and jostling for the top position in the standings. The recent unpleasantness involving Georgia, not the peach capital of the world; the other one, may have cleared the benches, but it also gave us some insight into each candidate’s bullpen.

As we head into October, tensions tighten, rosters change, and the road to the pennant is scattered with hit and run plays. Roster changes could make the difference in who waves the flag and who cries in their pinstripes. In the playoffs, the highest paid third baseman might bobble the ball like a lipsticked pig.

I’ve studied the presidential candidates and finally decided who we need in charge of the lineup for the greatest country on Earth. Only one person has showed the necessary courage in the face of unwavering antagonism, tact in the place of obnoxious displays of power, and skill in drawing out the best in the people on the team.

So, I’m voting for the Yankees ex-manager Joe Torre. If he can survive George Steinbrenner, handling a pack of warring countries will be easier than switching pitchers during the seventh inning stretch. And he showed he has the smarts to get the heck out to the Dodgers.

I just wish he had Mariano Rivera to call on when the bases were loaded. A simple fastball, high and tight, works wonders when the bad guys threaten your borders.